A Place of Peace and Rest

Our world seems to be in turmoil with wars and rumors of wars, viruses and variants of viruses that keep us from contact with our loved ones. We need to find a place of peace where our minds can rest. 

Just before the present crisis in Ukraine, I was immersed in a translation as well as a writing project the settings of both being in that country, so my mind was already there when the Russian invasion began.  

The translation I recently finished is a horrific account of a Mennonite man who was falsely accused and imprisoned by the NKVD (Soviet Secret Service). Miraculously he was freed and was able to write about his experience in great detail, even though one of the stipulations on setting him free was that he had to promise never to tell about what went on in prison. I am so grateful that he did decide to write about it, because it helped me understand what happened to my grandfather, Abram Kroeger, who had the same experience, but did not live to tell about it.    He died in prison, no doubt tortured and starved, an innocent victim. 

It was difficult for me to read this man's experiences and I'm sure that writing and thus reliving those events must have been a horrendous task for him. Many who lived through similar experiences and survived did not ever want to talk or write about them because it was too painful. However, I believe by recording his account the writer was released of a burden almost too great to bear. 

In an article in the Winnipeg Free Press (Feb.28, 2022 -- ironically the day before my grandfather's birthday!), Sabrina Carnevale writes an article about journaling:

Studies have found that writing in a journal can lead to better sleep, a stronger immune system, improved stress management and more self-confidence ... it is a tool for healing, growing and exploring ... a way of sorting through your thoughts. ... There is no right way to write ... there isn't a way to do it wrong ... [it] can be a life-changing habit.

I wish that my grandmother had kept a diary. She did have a little book given to her by her sister for Christmas in the 1920s. It was designed to be used as a place for recording important events such as deaths and birthdays. When she received that gift she was a happy young woman about to be married. Her family of origin left Ukraine but she and her husband decided to stay because they didn't want to leave their home. They had no idea of the tragedies that were about to fall on them.

     My mother entered her father's birthday in her mother's birthday book.
                                                    

In that same booklet I entered my grandfather's death by execution.

A couple of years ago my brothers took a trip to Ukraine and were able to access the files that showed our grandfather's execution in November of 1938 and also that he was exonerated of all crimes. (I wrote about this in a blog post on July 30, 2018, shortly after my brothers returned from their trip.)

The writing project I mentioned earlier has to do with my own family during that time in which my mother lost her father and eventually met her husband (my father). I wish I had diary entries but I can only go by oral history and by my imagination, as well as by research about those years.

                                

I have kept a diary since I left Canada for the Congo shorty after I got married. It was a great stress reliever. Above is a photo of the bookshelf holding my diaries. There are more! I can't believe I wrote that many! I know it was a healing process for me!

My blogger friend, Marian Beaman, often mentions her grandmother's and her aunt's diaries.
She delights in going through them, reliving that time in their lives and hers as a beloved granddaughter and niece. Their accounts were more about daily activities, the weather, etc.

This week Marian decided to feature the memoir I wrote for my grandchildren (about my early life as a child of refugees). You can access it by going into her link:

                        Marian Beaman Plain and Fancy Girl -- http://marianbeaman.com/

Another way of remembering, if you're not into writing, is to keep an object that reminds you of something, close at hand. During the January 6, 2021 attack on the U.S. capital in Washington DC, Rep. Dan Kildee, lying on the floor of the House gallery, picked up a shard of broken glass and has carried it daily since then "as a constant reminder in my pocket of the brutality of that day. We must have truth, we must have accountability," he says (Winnipeg Free Press, Jan.7, 2022).

In Sandra Birdsell's book The Russländer, a little girl, on the advice of her father, keeps a copy of the 23rd psalm in her pocket -- first of all as a reminder not to lose her temper, and later, during the horrors of the Stalinist era, as a source of comfort that she is not alone. I have committed that psalm to memory and often recite it when I go on my daily walk.

       

                           We all need to find a place of peace where our minds can rest. 

What do you do in order to relax and ease the tension in your life? Have you kept a diary or perhaps an object that calms you?