Saturday, 3 August 2024

There's Always a Solution!

These days I am reliving a wonderful cottage holiday I enjoyed with my children and grandchildren and reminding myself that there's usually a solution to my problems. 

Two years ago, our holiday at this same cottage was cut short when we discovered Covid among our ranks. We had to say goodbye to our Ontario family after two days!  Last year Hardy and I could not be there because of his illness. It was a sad time for us. This time we would all enjoy it, kind of like a bittersweet chocolate bar!

We went tubing, and we went on a boat ride at sunset. We spotted six bald eagles with our binoculars!

The sons-in-law did a lot of the cooking and everyone helped with clean up. Two of the granddaughters helped me fry Rollkuchen (delicious deep fried fritters  that are eaten with watermelon in summer and with Borscht (cabbage soup) in winter. My mother made them without using a recipe. She told me the recipe in The Mennonite Treasury of Recipes was good but to use whipping cream instead of milk. I mixed the batter ahead of time at home and kept it chilled for easier rolling and handling. 




After all that hard work a granddaughter did our  nails as we relaxed on the dock. I thought the color she chose was quite beautiful!


Of course we all missed Hardy and there were moments of sadness but also evidence that he was still with us. On the bookshelf someone found a thank you card he had written . Usually I'm the card writer! It's not like him to leave something undated but there was no date on the card.  We took it as a greeting from him!

 






There was also a puzzle for us to do on which he had written that there were no missing pieces and we should enjoy it!

Our family had discussed scattering Hardy's ashes over the water while we were at the cottage. I chose a reading from Henri Nouwen :

Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving...the pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking

The children  each read part of Psalm 90, a psalm Hardy and I read together when he was ill.

The grandchildren read lines from  John Donohue's poem On the Death of the Beloved.

I didn't want this to end in sadness however, and came up with what I thought was a good solution. Hardy had bought extra soap bubble liquid and stashed it under the deck for the next time we went to the cottage. I found it while doing some cleanup and thought this would be a great way to end the ceremony. I carefully put the soap bubble solution in the garage so I wouldn't forget to take it along. Much to my regret, I did forget it! 




However, there was a Dollar store in the nearby town and someone purchased soap bubbles with a label stating there was a wand inside the bottle for blowing bubbles. When I opened the bottle there was no wand! It seemed like this was not going to happen! 

Son-in-law Chris, gifted problem solver, came up with a brilliant solution! He came running up to the dock with the kitchen gadget below, used for flipping pancakes etc.  Plus it blew not just one bubble, but a whole bunch at a time, bigger than the regular wand! 






The ceremony ended in joy and laughter, the way  I had envisioned it!






When morning comes, let your love satisfy all our needs. Then we can celebrate and be glad for what time we have left. Psalm 90:14
















































23 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful way to celebrate Hardy’s life - I’m sure somewhere in this vast universe, in some way we don’t yet understand, he is smiling joyfully!! He is at peace, his work on earth is done, but he’s left behind a whole troupe to carry on. Doesn’t get much better than that❤️❤️

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  2. Thanks, Marge! Hardy would have loved the bubble blowing! Can just see him holding the wand! His spirit was with us, for sure!

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  3. Taking a cue from your words, I’d say life indeed is like a bittersweet chocolate bar.
    Some cool takeaways: the sons-in-law doing a lot of the cooking (yay!) and finding a thank you note from Hardy. How resourceful of Chris to dream up the spatula solution for the bubble-blowing event, which may turn out to be a family ritual.
    Once again, Elfrieda, I enjoyed your post from start to joyful finish.

    P.S. I love your blue nails. This summer I’ve started wearing crazy press-on nails. just $3.00 a set

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  4. A family ritual—great idea! So is press-on nails, reasonably priced and no peeling off in bits and pieces!

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  5. Elfrieda, from time to time, when I am awake at night, I try to think of all the “saints above”, that great cloud of witnesses, that I have known here below. I will have additional names come to me throughout the day. Sometimes I forget that someone is no longer down below. As I thank God for the saints, above and below, I remember with gratitude the way different individuals have have been a reflection of Christ’s light. Both you and Hardy still shine brightly in my thoughts!

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  6. I forgot to identify myself above!

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  7. Thanks, Linda, what a comforting thought! I like to think of Hardy seeing all the family members who left him (he was the last of his immediate family) and also meeting up with the little boy we lost several months after we arrived in Congo!

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  8. Elfrieda, I love everything about this blog entry. Thank you for sharing your stories and your family with us. Herzschmerzen ❤️

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  9. I love the word “Herzschmerzen”! A pain in the heart!

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  10. This post gave me "Herzschmerzen" also. The picture of the bubbles on the table reminded me of how our careful preparations can be swept aside in the haste of a departure, both literally and in the larger sense of life and loss. I am glad to be on your blog voyage through this bittersweet time. Sending you love.

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  11. Thank you, Shirley, for joining me on this journey, which feels lonely at times. Family and friends like you, and of course God’s constant presence sustain me and mitigate the grief.

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  12. Oh Elfrieda ….what a wonderful family time together….appears Hardy was there in spirit as well….I love all the little notes he left for you to find. What a beautiful legacy of family he left to carry on after him❤️Ruth Jansen

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  13. Thank you Ruth! I think we all felt Hardy’s presence but longed for the physical laugh and touch.

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  14. This is absolutely beautiful, Elfrieda. I have no doubt that Hardy would have loved it. One can easily picture Hardy joining in. Hand photos is something I enjoyed doing with my mom. What a beautiful keepsake for your granddaughter. Your hands are beautiful and will continue to bless others. Much love to all. Kathy Schulz

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  15. Thanks, Kathy, yes, Hardy would have loved it! And he loved your family and introduced the rest of us. What a gift!

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  16. My dear Elfrieda: what a wonderful way of celebrating and saying goodbye for now on another level. Very much in keeping with the joy and grace that Hardy carried so well. Thank you for sharing this with we who get to read your thoughts here. We are walking with an untimely death here at the moment, and the Henri Nouwen quote is already clipped to share on with those who are grieving, if you don't mind. The little bits of welcome you found were welcome recollections along the way I am sure.

    Full grace to you and much peace in all your celebrations and living. You are in our hearts, as ever.

    Big hugs,
    Bryce & Emily

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  17. Thank you, so much, Bryce and Emily, it’s so good to hear from you. You would be surprised if you walked into a Jubilee service now—growing by leaps and bounds, and lots of little ones! I miss you, and especially Bryce’s excellent sermons.
    Untimely deaths are so difficult! How to even find words! Our pastor daughter in Ontario is dealing with the untimely and very unexpected death of a colleague as well. Someone at Jubilee just lost a daughter. Forever farewells are so hard....

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  18. What a wonderful family time together! And, oh the bubbles and the pancake flipper wand - what fun and creativity. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful remembrance of your dear Hardy.

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  19. Thank you for reading and commenting. Time with family becomes poignant especially during times of loss!

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  20. Thank you for sharing your family's heartfelt ceremony for Hardy. Such a beautiful memory created for your grandchildren. My Oma used to always serve her rollkuchen with Roger's Golden Syrup and watermelon. One time, in the early 1960's when she was visiting us in Calgary, we convinced her to make rollkuchen so we could sell it at our lemonade stand on the corner of our street.
    Robbie

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  21. Thanks for participating in the conversation, Robbie. My grandkids also like to use powdered sugar with their Rollkuchen. What a great idea, to sell them at a lemonade stand!

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  22. Very nice post Elfrieda :-) Keep enjoying your family and your summer - Mary ♥

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  23. Thank you, Mary! The summer is going by so fast, almost as quickly as the grandchildren are growing up and I am growing old! It’s life in all its different shades, like a Kaleidoscope!

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