Compassion and Courage

I am so proud of my 12-year-old granddaughter Kathryn. This past year she has shown me, her 75-year-old grandmother, what it means to be compassionate, kind, joyful, and courageous. She has shown maturity far beyond her 12 years.

About a year ago, Kathryn’s mother, Christine, learned that a dearly loved member of their congregation (my age) had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She felt very sad about it and wondered what she could do for her. She talked to Kathryn, and together they decided that Kathryn would visit this couple in their home on a regular basis and bring some cheer into their lives.

Kathryn has an outgoing, lively personality. She enjoys chatting. The couple she visited are like that as well. They always looked forward to Kathryn's visits and Kathryn enjoyed their time together. 

The days passed quickly as winter changed to spring and spring changed to summer. It was time for Kathryn to visit her grandparents in Edmonton for a few weeks. During this time Agnes’ cancer progressed and before Kathryn returned, Agnes was hospitalized. When Christine told her what had happened to Agnes and that she would not live much longer, tears filled Kathryn’s eyes and she grieved for the loss of someone dear to her. She went to the hospital to visit her there, and that was difficult. Before there had been hope, but now they both faced the reality that Agnes’ time on this earth was short and they would have to say goodbye forever.

A few days later, Agnes passed away and Kathryn was heartbroken. Agnes had a request as she planned her memorial service. She asked that at the viewing some of the special people in her life who were not family would say something about what her friendship had meant to them. Kathryn was one of these friends.

To speak in public is intimidating enough, but even more so at an emotional time when you are not sure you are going to be able to do so without breaking down. Kathryn's last gift to Agnes was sharing with others about their friendship. She spoke joyfully of her visits with Agnes and Agnes' husband Helmuth, who always made her laugh. She showed some of the special gifts she had made for Agnes. She began to speak of her last visit with them, and then her tears flowed and she had to stop for a while. Someone brought her tissues and put their arm around her. She continued bravely. Following is what she shared:

Agnes and I started off our friendship saying hi and greeting each other at church on Sundays. But when she got sick, my mom and I thought it would be nice that I spend some more time with her when she had energy. So I spent time with Agnes and Helmuth as much as I could after school. I shared a great relationship with both of them, and I still do. 

I am going to share some of the stories I have from getting together with them this past year. One of my favorite trips we did together was going to the Half Moon in Lockport for supper. That trip was especially fun, because Helmuth was in his jokey sort of way, which made the three of us laugh lots while we ate our burgers  . . .  meanwhile, Agnes had onion rings! On our way there and back, we shared many stories about many different things.

Another memory is of the first time I went to their house. When I got there, I was in awe of how high the ceilings were! We had burgers (grilled by Helmuth) for supper, and then Agnes decided to take me outside. When we got outside I was amazed at how big their backyard was. While she showed me around their garden, I had an idea. I thought that because I'm in gymnastics, I could do a bunch of cartwheels across their lawn, and so I did! Agnes was amazed that I could do that and was grinning from ear to ear.

Over the time we spent together, I gave Agnes some gifts to make her feel special . . . I gave her an owl pillow that I made in sewing class at school . . . I painted her a cross that was made of pottery. When I was at the pottery shop, I didn't know what to paint . . . and then I thought of doing something for Agnes. I painted the cross brown and chose to paint vines with pink flowers on it. I wanted to show life coming from the cross.

Another gift I gave Agnes was a stone that said "Happy" on it. I told her to hold it and think of me whenever she was feeling down. 
When I was in Alberta this summer, I baked some apple pennies for Agnes, together with my grandma. I was able to give them to her when I visited her in Concordia Hospital.

I think the best gift of all that I gave Agnes was lots of hugs. Agnes also gave me gifts to make me feel special . . . smiles, hugs, laughter, meals, hearing her voice, and the energy she put into being with me.

And one more thing . . . Helmuth, you have the best jokes!!!

Agnes would have loved that!