The poet, Karen Brodine, once said, “When you write things down, they become true.”
Earlier this year I wrote a series of meditations for the devotional Rejoice. The one I had written for September 6, on Hardy’s birthday, was entitled “God Will Take Care of You.” At the time I wrote this I had no idea what would take place in early September. The cancer that we had hoped was contained in the bladder had spread, and Hardy passed away peacefully, September 3, surrounded by his family.
When I read the devotional, on the day of Hardy’s birthday, three days after he passed away, I felt it was a promise sent to me by God for that day, even though I had written it myself!
Below is the conclusion to my devotional.
In our scripture reading today, Elijah finds himself in a dangerous position just after experiencing a victory over the prophets of Baal. Despite God's mighty display of power, Elijah falls into a deep depression when Queen Jezebel promises she will kill him in an act of revenge. Taking refuge in the wilderness, Elijah meets God- not in the hurricane or the earthquake or the fire, but in the silence that follows. Elijah is able to relax under God's care and follow God's leading.
Elijah finds God’s leading in the silence that comes after the turbulence.
The silence can be deep and long and as Henri Nouwen writes:
“Real human grief means allowing the illusion of immortality to die in us. When those whom we love with an “endless love” die, something also has to die within us. If we do not allow this to happen, we will lose touch with reality, our lives will become increasingly artificial, and we will lose our human capacity for compassion.
I find solace in nature, this beautiful season when the leaves turn color, the geese prepare for their long journey south, the sunset is brilliant and the harvest moon a golden globe. I want to enjoy my own autumnal years and have them reflect the beauty we see in nature. I need to grieve the passing of this season, but I can also choose to enjoy its beauty.
That was beautiful. I'd been thinking about you the past few days and wondering. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. May you deeply sense the presence of our vulnerable God in this time.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kathy
ReplyDeleteAs a Christian, you have hope beyond the grave. As a writer, you are able to express yourself, as you do in this post, beautifully. As a wife, there is silence where there was once happy conversation, and a huge hole in your life. May you feel God's comfort and my prayers now and in the days to come. Hugs!
ReplyDelete(I hope you received my card.)
I did receive your beautiful card, Marian, and grandson received the stamps. Virtual hugs, wish they were real!
DeleteSo do I!
DeleteElfrieda …you have handled your journey with such grace and openness and I am happy that you are finding some solace in nature. Grieving has no time limit or map & I believe each grieving experience is unique. You have some wonderful supports that you can lean on and many good memories of your years with Hardy. Take strength from those and continue to remember and make many more new memories🥰
ReplyDeleteRuth, you are one of those strong and wonderful supports! Thank you my sister and my friend!
DeleteThe picture of Hardy at the end is so moving. The path, the interplay of shadow and light, the trees, his forward motion. I see myself and all of us in this image. Going home. Going home. God bless and keep you in this time of grief, Elfrieda. Thank you for sharing so deeply.
ReplyDeleteHardy’s homegoing was a moment I will always treasure. His pastor took his hand and said: “Hardy, your work on earth is done. You can go home now.” And just like that, with me holding his hand and children and grandchildren around him, he slipped into eternity.
DeleteYou are an inspiration to me. Thank you❤️💔
ReplyDeleteThat goes both ways, Marge!
ReplyDeleteHelen Nickel..
ReplyDeleteThank you for your gracious sharing. The grief path is different for each person and that is special. I love the way you bring nature into your journey of grief. Every season in life brings with it very meaningful aspects; joy and sadness. Hardy was a man who loved the Scriptures and he is experiencing the full meaning of them. His walk communicates a leaving to his eternal home. The Lord be ever present with you.
DeleteThank you, Helen. How I wish I could see what he is seeing. “Now we see through a glass darkly…”
Hello Elfreida,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this particular message, it reminds me the e-mail message that Hardy had sent to us earlier regarding our friendship : « MWANGA and MAYENGA our friendship will NEVER die » We will never forget it. May God bless you.
Mwanga
Thank you, Mwanga, and thank you for coming to grieve with us. You are family!
DeleteIn Dad’s encouraging words to all of us…“Everyday is not the same…”
ReplyDeleteLove you Mom!!💕
I’m taking that to heart!
DeleteLosing a spouse is hard. Remember, weeping lasts the night but joy comes in the morning. You will find joy in remembering Hardy.
ReplyDeleteSo true, from one who knows!
DeleteElfrieda, we read those Rejoice devotionals with the awareness that Hardy was dying. They felt poignant, deeply meaningful, for us as well. God is present in unexpected ways, like timing. Serendipity is another of the names of God's Spirit.
ReplyDeleteIn this autumnal season, may you open yourself to the pain and gifts of grief, may you rest deeply, may you keep writing what is real, and may you walk with purpose like the photo of Hardy that you shared.
Thank you for this blessing, Mary Anne!
DeleteElfrieda, you have been gifted with such a beautiful heart and the way you are able to express yourself in your writing. We have been and continue to pray for you and your family as you journey forward. Grief is different for all of us. What a blessing to know that God understands and walks with us. I especially love the photo of Hardy. He is home and we will see him again some day. Much love always, Kathy S.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouraging and comforting words, Kathy!
ReplyDeleteMay you know the nearness of your Saviour, the Special Blessing of loved ones (you have many -both Family and Friends) and the special memories with Hardy in this time of "aloneness" and adjustments. Keep writing Elly!❤️🙏
ReplyDeleteThank you, I will continue writing! It took me a long time to write this months blog post and I almost didn’t, but there it is!
ReplyDeleteElfrieda, please accept my condolences on Hardy's death. I recall him as a lovely and kind person, with a twinkle in his eye!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Margita! I wish I could share this comment with him!
DeleteElfrieda, I have not yet had the opportunity to give you my sincerest condolences. What a huge (there is no word for the enormity of) loss. Hearts break when others hearts are broken.
ReplyDeleteThank you Tina. This loss is teaching me something I’d rather not learn, (about broken hearts)...
DeleteWhat an amazing account! And what a unique insight you gave yourself, through the leading and gifting of the Holy Spirit. May you feel close to Hardy as you sit in the silence in God's presence. You are reflecting the surpassing beauty of this season in the person you are.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t think I’d be able to post this month, but then it was given to me...
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful that you were able to write devotionals for Rejoice!, Elfrieda. What an added blessing that your words appeared at just the right time to comfort and bless you. May you continue to know God's care today and in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteThank you, April. You are a good teacher in this journey of grief!
ReplyDelete